Some friends on the other side of the Wasatch (Snowbird) forwarded the clever email below. Seems like the storm earlier this week caused a lot of sick days in Park City. Although the storm didn’t amount to as much as we all hoped, my theory is if you are not scraping what’s underneath, and your turns are buttery smooth, it’s still a powder day. Ummm. I mean, a sick day. This report comes from some ailing friends on the other side of the Wasatch. Credit must be given to Jeffrey Marmorstone for this real email to his boss explaining why he would not make it to work on the morning of another “sick” day:

SICK DAY: BIRD FLU

Mike,

I woke up this morning at 6:37 a.m. with a terrible headache. It was something fierce. And let me just say, I’ve had my fair share of intense headaches in the morning. After all, the liquor store is only three blocks from my house. But this one was serious. There was definitely something strange and weird happening in my noggin. It was debilitating and it was a major battle just to get out of bed. Lucky for me, the Insticare Clinic is right across the street from the liquor store. It’s a great neighborhood Mike. It has everything you need. Somehow, I managed to crawl from my bed to my ski poles, which I used as crutches to help brace myself as I hobbled to the Clinic. The doctor checked me over and diagnosed me with the flu. It took over fifteen minutes of haggling with this bum to convince him it was more serious than just the flu. I demanded a brain scan. After the scan the doc told me I was right. It was more complicated than just the flu. He said it was serious, but they could fix it with a couple of shots. I protested the shots. The doc said I’d need several… several shots to the face to survive. This is serious shit we’re talking about here Mike. Worst than rabies. If left unattended, it could prove fatal. He told me I needed the
shots right away and I would need to take the rest the day off to recover. No joke Mike. Take a look at the brain scan; see for yourself (See attached image, notice the discoloration of the ventricles). Doc said it’s the BIRD FLU. Can you believe that shit? The Bird Flu. So I’m off to get my face shots. Doc claims the only place to get them is up Little Cottonwood Canyon. See you tomorrow. Doctor’s orders.

Brain Scan: Afflicted with Bird Flu